Three Things I Will Do

Three Things I Will Do After Attending “Spare The Rod: Raising Children With Dignity and Respect”
June 1, 2009

Personal

I will not hit my kid.

I will make a commitment to never hit my own children.

I will definitely stop hitting my children.

I will not use [corporal punishment] as a form of discipline - period. And I have not.

I will not threaten the use of [corporal punishment], because that in itself is ineffective.

I will raise my grandchildren without using Corporal Punishment thus breaking the cycle of using Corporal Punishment as a form of discipline in the generations to come.

I will not do what my parents did just because they did it. They're first response was to hit my siblings and myself for infractions, real or imagined. I didn't like being hit, so I don't hit anyone. Instead, I will take away something the child cares about to enforce a message. For example, one rule I have for a child is "No helmet, no bike," meaning if a child isn't wearing his or her helmet, then I take away his or her bike on the spot. The child doesn't get to ride the bike again until the next day. If there is any arguing, I will ask the child if he or she wants to remain bike-less for another day. Usually, the child's answer is no and complaining stops immediately.

I will intentionally live my life according to the principle that corporal punishment is inhumane.

I will avoid yelling at my kids. This is verbal hitting.

I will have a conversation without yelling.

I will yell less.

I will be calm and listen.

I will stop yelling at my three kids when they do something I don't like.

I will be mindful of how I speak to my children. My husband and I are helping to keep one another "in check" with reminders when we are out of line in our interactions with our children when disciplining them.

I will find alternative ways to discipline my children. I will display love and affection for the child by giving him or her unlimited hugs and kisses as well as positive reinforcement when the child does things right. In other words, I will focus more on what the child does right as opposed to what he or she is doing wrong.

I will commit to staying connected to the movement.

I will encourage my three adult children to be aware of this issue and share with my daughter, who has a son, how to avoid corporal punishment.
My husband and I will to continue to love, care and nurture my children as we have been doing and being a positive example to other parents.

I will continue to use what I learn in my own home.

I will practice effective discipline myself in order to become expert.

I will talk to my kids about things I learned in the conference and my respect for them being human beings.

I will improve my own practices with my teenage and adult children.

I will look for alternatives for teaching my daughter that there are consequences for her behavior.

I will seek more information about positive discipline.

I will lead by example, when I have children, raising them in a non-violent atmosphere that will promote positive growth.

Professional

I will continue to discuss discipline with parents of patients.

I will model positive behavior toward child misbehavior to parents of patients.

I will screen more regularly for domestic violence.

I will incorporate alternative methods of discipline into the parenting education of The MOM Program, if this is funded for another cycle.

I will continue to address this issue in my Parenting Classes in Spanish to help parents become more aware of the negative consequences of such a practice.

I will continue to offer in my classes different strategies that parents can use to modify their child's behavior and to enhance the holistic development in each age and stage.

I will continue to organize monthly workshops for the Hispanic community on topics like: self-knowledge, self-esteem, anger management, positive discipline, conflict resolution, depression, etc., which are related to the issue of abuse, neglect and physical punishment.

I will educate myself as well as the staff at my site by providing information about alternative ways to discipline children so staff can pass this information on to their clients.

I will be the change that I want to see in the world by modeling behavior that teaches others. I do this with "play" at my site. I keep toys in my office so the children can play with them while the mothers watch them. I interact with the children in front of their mothers so that the mothers will learn how to play with their child(ren).

I will follow-up with Rev. Callahan to dialogue further concerning her thoughts on the scriptural reference “spare the rod, spoil the child.”

I will continue to discuss this information with the participants in our parent education classes and peer support groups.

I will continue to get more information about the topic and continue to advise parents and caregivers not to spank children.

I will share the website with the students I teach.

I will teach the information to the inmates I teach! As part of my clinical care with patients,

I will take a better history regarding child abuse - both from adults about their own childhood experiences - and talk with parents who are under social stress about how they can avoid taking that stress out on their loved ones.

I will contact Mr. Canada with my idea on how to be effective with his message.

I will share aspects of the "If Children Live..." magnet with new parents.

I will add mental health question regarding types of discipline to health history.

I will continue the conversations regarding aspects of the conference with parents and in the community.

I will promote this important message in our parenting classes.

I will promote this important message with clients of our agency.

I will use this information in training for my staff.

I will give this information to parents during orientations.

I will continue to work in the field of parenting.

I will meet with my staff to discuss & explore our feelings on this topic.

I will talk with the children about our beliefs, live our beliefs and develop a way to keep this dialogue going and involve the children.

I will begin to address this with the parents with compassion, understanding and patience and develop a plan to continue this exploration.

I will put this website in my monthly newsletter for parents of the early care & education center.

I will educate my staff about why it is important to approach the families they work with from this perspective (trauma informed, positive discipline).

I will incorporate concepts and offer alternatives to spanking in all of the parenting classes that my program offers. I will give parents the opportunity to practice concepts that are being taught.

I will help the parents that I service begin with the process of change by adding more visual examples and role-playing in a safe environment. Dealing with the stages of change is key for parents to identify with actually implementing the material when no one is there with them and the children.

I will address [corporal punishment] when I see it here in the hospital.

I will work with our team to create a no hitting zone.

I will give parents a place to speak honestly about the stress of parenting so they can get it out and find more patience.

I will incorporate the DVD intro to the conference into our trainings, pass this message along to my daughter who works in a day care, and incorporate Geoffrey Canada's comments into our regular training.

I will encourage more staff training about how to show the parents we work with techniques and approaches to get acceptable behavior.

I will talk to provider networks to include parental education on effects of corporal punishment. I will clearly and passionately share brain information with my IFP participants.

I will continue to learn about the impact of corporal punishment on children.

I will share the information received at the conference with other staff

I will continue to train trainers in the parent training I have developed.

I will continue to educate others- staff, professionals, and consumers- in why it is so important not to use corporal punishment.

I will continue to advocate for more services for people living in poverty.
As an employee of a domestic violence shelter I have affected the lives of many families; I will continue to offer families different options to corporal punishment.

I will facilitate parenting workshops that focus on discipline as teaching, modeling and setting developmentally appropriate limits.

I will encourage others who work with children and families to take a stand opposing corporal punishment.

I will educate parents to use other forms of discipline.

I will host parenting workshops to promote alternative discipline techniques.

I will provide more structured activities for the children I serve to give parents more "me" time.

I will teach parents stress relievers and time management to alleviate the stressors of parenting.

I will discuss principles of effective discipline without corporal punishment with my clients from the Nurse-Family Partnership.

I will encourage the families I work with to choose positive discipline techniques, and model for these families how to interact with children.

I will continue to read and learn about positive discipline techniques and the research on the effects of corporal punishment and trauma on children so that I can be better prepared to discuss these topics with clients and their families.

I will be writing my thesis paper at Drexel on Promoting Successful Children, in this paper I will discuss the effect and concerns around corporal punishment.

I will copy and give out handouts to other therapists at my agency.

I will talk about what I learned in clinical supervision.

I will no longer avoid or tiptoe around discussion of alternatives to corporal punishment when working with parents. During family planning sessions, I will educate clients on nonviolent discipline techniques.

I will provide foster parents with information about why corporal punishment does not work and give alternate ways to teach children.

I will provide more education about trauma to parents ...how it impacts children's behaviors.

I will distribute the "amazing brain" booklets. I will continue to be mindful of the needs and struggles parents can have around the subject of Corporal Punishment.

I will work on offering research-based information that is less likely to feel attacking to parents.

I will support those who in turn work with parents to provide viable ways to address issues related to corporal punishment.

I will discuss with parents of the children that I am working with appropriate ways to discipline children. I will suggest that the parents take time to talk with their child about expectations of how they are to behave and manage their own behavior. I will discuss with grandparents of children I am working with and getting to know effective and appropriate ways to discipline children.

I will take the time to discuss and suggest ways that will work as an alternative to corporal punishment.

I will take the opportunity to invite parents to share how they feel about corporal punishment and take the time to discuss other methods and ways to manage behavioral problems with their children.

Community

I will dialogue with staff and neighbors in my community concerning cultural, racial, and social dynamics that revolves around corporal punishment to bring awareness to this issue.

I will share this information with my family and friends.

I will talk to my adult children about the research, so they know how important it is not to hit or say mean things to their children, although they would be unlikely to ever do this, there are still times when a child and other stress can push one to the limit.

I will provide child-care for parents who may need a break!

I will have discussions with my staff, family, friends, and facebook friends and encourage them to Spare the Rod.

I will send my Pastor an email and ask him to check out your website and then preach a sermon on the subject.

I will encourage other parents to not use corporal punishment with their children.

I will speak with family and friends discouraging this type of discipline.

I will devote more of my time and subject matter to ending corporal punishment on my personal blog.

I will make better efforts to distribute materials to friends, family members, colleagues, etc. that help parents cope with stress and avoid abusive methods of behavior modification.

I will engage adults in dialogue about the negative side-effects of corporal punishment.

I will encourage others to stop and provide important information on the negative effects of corporal punishment.

I will not only approach my children with a holistic viewpoint but other children that I come into contact with as well.

I will speak up against corporal punishment in my own support system, my place of employment, and in my institution of faith.

I will make a commitment to a more compassionate way of understanding the process of forgiveness and changes that need to take place in individuals who have had experience with receiving or giving corporal punishment.

I will talk to my instructors at Drexel University School of Public Health about trying to include the effects of corporal punishment in the curriculum.

I will respond with grace and information if possible to those in my presence who may be using corporal punishment.

I will continue to discourage corporal punishment.

I will model and verbalize non-corporal punishment techniques.

I will talk about it with those who seem interested.

I will talk about it with those who do not seem interested and not argue with their rationalizations for continuing the status quo.

I will share the conference materials/website, etc.

I will speak up about the negative impacts of corporal punishment.

I will discuss corporal punishment with parents as well as children in an attempt to spread awareness regarding the treatment of children.

I will educate other parents about the impact of corporal punishment on children/the next generation of the worlds citizens. I will work to increase psychological literacy. People need to understand why we humans do what we do. By gaining insight into human behavior, no matter how horrific, we increase our capacity for compassion and forgiveness.

I will not judge those who engage in aggressive behavior. They are only doing what they themselves have learned from others. My non-judgment will encourage others not to judge and perhaps soften an aggressor's heart so he/she is able to consider and try alternatives to corporal punishment.

I will talk about Mr. Canada's efforts and work to people I meet. His presentation was excellent and more people should have the chance to hear him speak.
My daughter and I are starting a neighborhood reading club on our block to help children stay out of trouble and keep them motivated and focused academically. We will also attempt to motivate parent through this club to find alternative ways of discipline.

I will work with my grandchildren to help encourage my son and daughter to not do as I did in terms of corporal punishment. My children were spanked but never experienced verbal abuse. Spankings were minimal. Addressing my children with authority and respect seem to have worked best at home and as a school teacher and social worker.

I will educate friends/family about the importance of non-violent discipline.

I will start advocating for Children's Rights in the media, in my social circles, and with my colleagues.

I will speak up when I witness violence against children in the public instead of subscribing to the mantra, "Mind-your-ownbusiness".